


it’s customizable electricity

by questionablesidekick



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Deadpool - All Media Types, Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Supernatural, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, Implied Relationships, Multi, Twitter, fenrir darcy lewis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-18 19:22:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9399275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/questionablesidekick/pseuds/questionablesidekick
Summary: Darcy Lewis, in every universe-.-.-.-.-Where things with Darcy too short to be their own story go to grow up.





	1. Chapter 1

space jam  
Darcy Lewis, college student extraordinaire has over 10,000 followers on Twitter. This, apparently makes her a person of “great social standing”. 

Darcy was in space for three days before she realized her phone can still get wifi. Instead of doing the smart thing, and calling Jane so she knew Darcy wasn’t dead, she spent the time on updating her twitter and informing her followers what had happened to her. 

She started tweeting about an hour after she noticed she was still getting bars.  
-.-.-.-.-  
Darcy L. | @ polikatTASER  
_three days and these assholes still haven’t realized i have a way to communicate with the outside world. space fucking sucks._

600 retweets, 1,000 likes.  
-.-.-.-.-  
On the fourth day, she learns that the ginger dudes name is Peter Quill. The dude with all the muscles won’t stop yelling it while asking when they’ll have the chance to have some real bloodshed. Quill tossed a piece of scrap into his face and the next thing Darcy knows, the two are brawling into what amounts to the Milano’s storage room. 

She took a picture, before she sat back down on her cot. She was shoved in the storage room her first day on board, something about “congrats you’re a hostage” and “we’ll kill you fast if we must”. 

It sucked. She’d literally kill a man for her queen-sized bed and her tiny apartment in New Mexico. Even with it’s lack of heating, it was so much warmer than cold steel. 

Quill’s shirt gets ripped with an overly dramatic noise. 

Darcy takes another picture before wolf-whistling. Quill smirked, posed. “Like what you see?” He called out, right before Muscles slammed his face into the floor. 

When she saw him the next day, the entire left side of his face is swollen.  
-.-.-.-.-  
Darcy L. | @ polikatTASER  
_[image attached] [image attached]_  
almost as good as a hot cup of coffee

900 retweets, 3,000 likes  
-.-.-.-.-  
“You kidnapped me because of my follower count!” Darcy screeched once Gamora finally deigned to inform her. She’d introduced herself by giving Darcy a better blanket and then describing how it could be used to murder somebody. Darcy had only a little bit of a crush. 

“It was in the terms of the contract!” Peter Quill explained, “Kidnap somebody of high social standing blah blah blah, signed it and moved on.” 

“Oh my god dude,” Darcy said after a long moment of awestruck silence. “This is not how Earth works.”

-.-.-.-.-  
Darcy L. | @ polikatTASER  
_Earth is 50/50 probably going to be invaded now. I’m going to help stop it. @ AVENGEWHAT do you guys want to help or something._

30,000 retweets 60,000 likes 

The Avengers™| @ AVENGEWHAT replied to Darcy L’s tweet  
_do you have proof or something. also this impending alien invasion is getting in the way of Hulk’s cooking. Reschedule?  
-TS_

90,000 retweets 75,000 likes

Darcy L. | @ polikatTASER  
_[image attached] [image attached]_  
_i realize they’re both selfies of me making out with quill and gamora but you can see the alien fleet in the background kthanxbai_

100,000,000 retweets 80,000,000 likes  
-.-.-.-.-.-

Darcy ends up on spending the remainder of her life in space. She stops looking at her follower count once she gets verified.


	2. an outstreched hand, a mouth full of fangs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> important note: darcy’s father is not mcu!loki, and asgard in this fic spans multiple dimensions

She’s run out of ground. 

Behind Darcy there’s a cliff that gives way to blackness, and occasionally there’s something resembling low laughter that creeps back up. It aches in her bones. 

In front of Darcy, Lorelei blows her a kiss. Behind her are a thousand green eyes, enemies and friends alike, all of them under her thrall. “Your father,” Lorelei says, and the laughter starts up from the deep again, giving Darcy and Lorelei pause. “Your father,” she starts again once it had stopped, leaving only chills behind, “Would want you to join me. Odin has killed him, Fenrir. He has killed him and imprisoned your siblings, and we could get them out.” Her tone turns soft, pleading, making eye contact as the men behind her drop to her knees. 

Darcy hasn’t gone by that name since she ripped herself free of the chains, since she removed the sword from her mouth with trembling bleeding hands. 

“I’m sorry.” Darcy says. She truly is. Every bone in her body screams at her to avenge her father, avenge his namesake, free her siblings. But Lorelei’s way would only lead to ruin, and Darcy needs a plan that would succeed on the first try. 

Darcy takes a step back. The cliff crumbles. 

“Fenrir,” Lorelei warns, eyes tracking the rocks that disappear after seconds. There is no resounding thud. Darcy’s heart climbs into her throat and stays there. “Fenrir, no!”

Darcy is already falling. 

It feels like centuries before Darcy wolfs out, and centuries more before she hits the ground, it heating instantly under her paws. The air absolutely reeks of sulphur, the yellow stream of it hissing out of openings in the floor. 

“Oh hel _lo_ puppy.” She looks over her shoulder to see a mockery of a man overlaid over someone of a much more pleasant demeanor. He reaches out, scritches a burn behind her ear. She resists the urge to bite down. “Aren’t you a long way from home.”

“Crowley.” She greets, a wary note of respect. “I wasn’t aware you were back.”

“Only temporarily darling.” He looks behind him, miming fear, “I’m afraid I’ve brassed off quite a few people.” There’s a long pause that neither of them bother to fill. “Why are you here, by the by?” 

“I need to speak with someone.” Darcy says, short and with a bit of a snarl, “As myself, Crowley, don’t get any ideas.” 

He sniffs. “I wouldn’t.”

This is a lie. Being possessed by Crowley is like witnessing a murder in slow motion, full of pain and regret, with the taste of blood in your mouth following you for years. Crowley has never been gentle with his hosts.

“You’ll owe me.” He warns. 

“For protecting your ass?” Darcy smiles, all teeth. He takes a step back, wary of a lunge. “I’d call it even.” She shifts back into her human guise, keeping the yellow eyes, the toothy grin. Parts of her hand tip out into claws, the tips of which could cut through solid steel. She extends the hand.

Crowley grabs it and pulls her in for a kiss.


	3. knock knock (where'd he come from?)

“Hey,” Darcy spits with too much blood in her mouth and a wide grin that stretches way too wide, “Fuck you.” Her wrists are scraped raw against the handcuffs, and the thin chain, the agent thinks, the chain attaching them to the wall is the only thing that stops her from ripping his head off. 

There’s an almost comically loud crash behind him. When the agent turns around, he’s greeted with a shotgun directly to the face and a black and red mask that reeks of blood and rot. “Hey,” Deadpool says, “Wassup? Someone called for a convenient plot device?”

“ _Wade you absolute fucker_ ,” The glob of spit arcs up and lands barely an inch from the toe of Wade’s boot. He looks down at it, before staring at Darcy, betrayed. “Don’t give me that- so we- I hate you so fucking much.” Darcy says, before pulling at the chains, slowly and surely pulling them out from the wall. 

The agent opens his mouth. Wade, without taking his eyes from Darcy, shoves the shotgun in. The agent would close his mouth, if he wasn’t certain that he would shatter all of his teeth. 

Darcy pulls the brick that the chain’s attached too out of the wall. She steps aside in time to watch it fall, cracking on the easily-powerwashed cement floor. She takes the time to take a deep breath, let it out. The tension falls from her shoulders. “Get his keys.” 

“Ooh, sexy, taking control like that,” Wade replies, and shoves his hand into the agent’s back pocket. He pulls the trigger in the same motion. 

Darcy shrieks and ducks, avoiding the worst of the spray, though she’ll be picking the bits of brain from her hair for weeks. Wade squats and frisks the corpse, tossing her the keys when he finds them. After Darcy unlocks the cuffs, Wade gets the keys back, but also with about three pounds of chains and mega-duty cuffs thrown directly into his face. 

The impact knocks him ass over teakettle. Darcy walks over, kicks him. He doesn’t move. 

On her way out of the cell, Darcy takes the keys back.


End file.
